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It’s Perfectly Okay to Cry

It’s perfectly okay to cry… sometimes.

For new teachers, sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the workload, classroom management, other faculty members, and most especially by the pressure of:
(1) parents
(2) students who are lagging behind the class
(3) students who are misbehaving
(4) if you are being an effective teacher
(5) if you are a good enough teacher
… the list goes on. There are many reasons why we tend to break down and choose to quit in our first year. Especially teaching in Middle School it can be so demanding, that it depletes your fuel to teach. If you’re in that position, if you’re on the verge of giving up, please don’t.

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I know you are doing a great job, you are doing your best. Your students appreciate you and they look up to you. Your difficult students are just misheard. Try to listen to them, they might be telling you something. Reach out to them, be their confidant. Just keep doing your best, teacher! I promise you, all teachers have been there. All teachers have cried in their cars, desks, bed, or wherever because of the overwhelming pressure. You are not alone. Being a teacher is very purposeful. When you see your students grow up to be successful and doing something good in their lives, you’ll realize that you are a part of how he or she is today. It is worth it. It always is.

Classroom Management Strategies for Difficult Students: Promoting Change through Relationships

Dealing with difficult students can be a pain. There are times when it’s too much already that you no longer know what to do for them to just behave. Sometimes you even think if you did something that made them hate you so much.

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I’ve read this paper by Mary Ellen Beaty-O’Ferrall, Alan Green, and Fred Hanna, from the website of Association for Middle-Level Education about dealing with the most challenging students. They listed down 3 strategies in the field of counseling and psychotherapy that teachers can learn and apply in their classrooms. It’s a very straightforward paper that is purposely written to help teachers. In this blog post, I would like to summarize the 3 strategies from the paper, and make it easier to understand.

 

  1. Building Empathy

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the simple definition of ‘Empathy’ is the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions: the ability to share someone else’s feelings.

As a teacher, it is critical when developing relationships that you know and understand the student. Teachers must take the initiative and certain steps to learn and understand each student. When teachers understand and empathize with their students, it will result in the student feeling understood.

Take a personal interest in your students. Get to know them. Understand them so they know that somebody is listening to them. No child is born bad–no student behaves badly just because he or she wants to be that way. There is always a reason.

 

  1. Admiring Negative Attitudes and Behaviors

Research states that teachers’ actions in their classrooms have twice as much impact on student achievement in several fields. Admiring negative behavior may seem like the thing not to do, but it actually has an effect on the student that will benefit him. There’s a proper way on admiring though. You should acknowledge the negative attitude or behavior as a ‘skill’ and give credit to the student for all the years he or she has practiced the skill. For example, there is a manipulative adolescent girl. You can acknowledge her bring manipulative as the skill to ‘influence people.’ After acknowledging the skill, you will now redirect it. You can say that her skill can be valuable in certain careers such as sales and management. Now the student will be surprised to hear that there is something to admire by her behavior and that somebody understands her. There will now be a bridge of trust between the student and teacher.

All these must be done with sincerity. Any hint of sarcasm can backfire and make the student more difficult to deal with.

 

  1. Leaving One’s Ego at the Door

This one is pretty simple.

A teacher should not take comments and manipulations of students personally, as a clash between the student and teacher is likely to follow. He should always act strategically, not emotionally. There are patience and practice involved in improving the teacher’s skill to suspend one’s own reaction. Being aware of your vulnerabilities can be redirected it into something good.

 

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Dealing with the most challenging of students can be difficult and requires a lot of patience. These 3 strategies can help you develop a relationship with your students and build trust between you and them. In the classroom, it is critical that teachers find ways of building relationships with all students. Relationship-driven teaching can lead to amazing things.

 

5 Mistakes New Teachers Make With Classroom Management

Let’s admit it–our first year of teaching didn’t go as smoothly as we wanted it to be. It wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be. My first year had its ups, but it also had its share of downs. There are 5 things that I think would’ve made so much difference in my first year of teaching. I want to share them with you, so you wouldn’t make the same mistakes I did! If I had known these 5 mistakes then, I wouldn’t have had so much of a hard time trying to be an efficient teacher and classroom manager.

  1. The Rules of Enforcing Rules

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I have two things to say about enforcing rules in the classroom.

One is to keep the rules simple and to the point. Complex rules will just confuse your students and are prone to “loopholes” that may be manipulated by the wise kids in your class. You know, those kids who are good at getting away with things. When your rules are simple and direct, there’s nothing to turn over, it is what it is.

Second, you have to be consistent when enforcing those rules. You have to be consistent with the consequences. Do not let any instance of defiance go unmarked because the rules and the consequences lose their credibility. You shouldn’t let an act of disobedience pass because you’re in a good mood. You also shouldn’t make the consequences heavier when you’re tired or too stressed out. Regardless of what mood you’re in, you have to be consistent with your consequences.

  1. Yelling at students

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Yelling at students does more harm than good. Actually, it doesn’t do any good at all. It only builds a gap between you and your class. Just use a firm, quiet voice when the classroom is too noisy or when some things are going out of hand. This will build trust and respect between you and your students.

  1. Not having a routine

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Apart from rules enforcement, there is one other thing that should not be inconsistent–the daily schedule of the class. Children like routines. They like it when things are predictable, so they can expect what’s coming next.

  1. Making lessons too long

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Children have a relatively short attention span compared to teenagers and adults. They cannot sit still and listen to you discuss the World War II for a whole full hour. Once their attention span timer is up, you can expect your students to find something to do to pass the time–and nope, it’s not taking down notes. Make your discussions interactive. Don’t just ask questions to see if they’re listening. If you keep it fun and exciting, you wouldn’t need to check if they’re listening or not.

  1. Lacking confidence

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A class can sense if a teacher is a little on the weak side. If you don’t feel confident as a teacher, your class will eat you alive. They need someone who can protect them, and who can bring out the best in them. How will they feel that you are their leader if you don’t feel and act like one? Stand tall, speak proudly, your students are looking up to you.

 

Not all teachers experience the same things in their classrooms. These 5 things are just from personal experience that I would like to share with you because you never know, I might be able to help you. That’s what teachers do anyway, they try to help and inspire others.

 

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